Downloaded from YTS.MX
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
[traffic passing, horns honking]
- Man: Hi.
- Man 2: Uh, two hot dogs...
Uh... Mustard, onion...
Sauerkraut, and a large piña colada.
- Man 1: Okay
Yes?
- Yeah, let me have one foot-long.
- One?
- Yeah, foot-long.
- $1.50.
- You have a foot-long hot dog?
- No foot-long dog.
- Oh, man.
Um, I'll just have two
regular ones then.
- Two hot dogs on same bun?
- Yeah, just like that.
Yeah, can I have some
ketchup on that or...?
- Ketchup?
- [groans]
[laughing] Holy shit.
[laughing continues]
[coughs]
Holy shit. Okay
[laughing]
[laughing stops]
[laughing]
[laughing continues
sporadically]
[birds chirping]
[people chattering]
[children chattering,
shouting]
- Boy: Yeah, baby! Yeah!
Yeah!
- [quietly] Fuck.
What's happening, Alex?
- Oh, hey, Lenny, um...
My mom talked to--
- No, have you seen,
have you seen Sage?
- No, but my mom talked to
Sage's mom and she told her
that, you know, I could go
to your house.
[Lenny tapping fingers
on box]
[door opens]
Whoa!
- Lenny: Whoa! Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa! Whoa! Excuse me.
- Are you their father?
- Yes!
- Okay Well, you have
some parenting to do.
- Really? Okay - Yes.
- I have some parenting to do?
- Yes, you do.
- Okay, who are you?
- I'm the principal of
this school-- Mr. Puccio.
- [laughing] Puccio.
- I assume that you're
their father.
This, I don't think this is
a matter for laughter right now.
Let me tell you what
happened today.
- All right, I suggest
you do that.
- First of all, Frey assaulted
his math teacher.
- Okay, the kid is the size
of a two-year-old, all right,
so I don't know what kind of
ruckus he'd be causing in
your classroom.
- Kids do not assault
teachers, Okay?
And then, wait.
Let me show you something else.
Take a look at this.
- All right, all right,
just shut your mouth. Shut up.
[laughing] Holy sh...
This is fucking disgusting.
- Okay, that is hair--
excuse me, do not use that
kind of language here.
- Don't reprimand me in front
of my children.
- That hair came from...
- Do not reprimand me in front
of my own kids, all right?
All right?
- Excuse me, that hair came
from one of his classmates,
Brandon, in the recess yard.
- Yeah, but Brandon was beating me up.
- Calm down a second.
I'd like to hear what happened.
All right, Sage?
- Brandon was beating up
Johnny. I don't like that.
- You know what, Mr. Sokol?
Maybe this would be more
productive if you came back
with their mother.
- All right, come on, guys.
- Frey: What are you doing?
- What? What are you doing?
What are you doing?
You know what, we have things
to do, Okay? I'm sorry.
It was nice to see you.
You'll see him at school
tomorrow, Okay?
- Alex: But wait.
But my mom isn't here yet.
- No moms, no playdates,
nothing today, Okay?
- Frey: Yeah, but wait...
- And you? What is this?
What is this?
- Sage: Brandon was teasing.
- You know what? Pull his hair. Pull his hair.
- Sage: No.
- Pull his hair!
Pull it! You like that?
- Sage: Ow!
- You like how that feels?
You like how it feels?
Come on.
That's disgusting!
- Ooh! Hey, guys, I always
wanted a blond mustache.
How do I look? Fancy, y'all?
- Lenny: Yeah,
that's hilarious.
Henny Youngman over here.
Come on.
[coins jingling]
- How you doing, sir?
Can you spare some change?
- How's it going, partner?
- I'm trying to get some...
Make some money to get something to eat.
- Something to eat?
- Yes, sir.
- You know, a lot of guys act like they're vets and
they're really not vets.
- I was stationed at Fort Jackson.
1968. 101st airborne.
- Is that, is that Virginia?
- No, that's Columbia,
south Carolina.
- The ditches?
- Yeah.
10 kills.
- Tell you what we're gonna do.
I'm just gonna leave $20 in my
pocket so I can get home, but
I'll be back to check on you
though, man.
- Hey, I won't be here.
I'll be in a hotel somewhere
and I'll be eating.
- It's on you, brother.
You're talking to a fellow vet.
- Thank you.
- Lenny: Has anybody seen Frey?
- No.
- I think I saw him earlier.
- All right, I'm sure
he'll catch up with us.
Hey, Alex...
What time's your bedtime?
- Um, eight. - Really?
- I like it, it's early.
- Sage tell him what time you go to bed.
- 11.
- See, because he's a grown-up, that's why.
- Alex: Wow! You must be
tired when you wake up, Sage.
- Lenny: Yeah, right.
- Spare some change?
- Sorry, man. Ask this guy.
He's the breadwinner.
- Young man, can you
spare some change?
- We're in the middle
of a conversation.
- Alex: Excuse me, i...
- Lenny: What?
- I have to use that round bowl
with water in it that you
urinate in.
- Toilet. In there.
- That's it. I forgot the name.
- Lenny: You're addressing
the wrong guy. This is the bank.
Show him what you got.
[coins rattle]
Don't give it to him.
I said show it to him.
- I bet you got some money
in your pocket.
I bet you got some money.
Hey! Hey, hey, he got money
in his pocket, don't he?
He gave you all that, right?
You got some money
in your pockets.
I bet you got some money
in your pockets.
Look, you don't want them to
see you looking, looking bad
like that, come on.
- Look, man.
I'm playing with my kids.
You asked for money.
We don't have any.
I'm playing with my kids.
So just a little distance,
all right? Good luck.
- But I've been sitting
here on my ass all day!
[Lenny laughs]
- Yeah, well, I've been
on my feet all day, man.
Oh, shit. Get it, get it, quick!
[children giggling]
All right. All right, come on.
Forget the money.
Come on, guys! Forget it!
- I'm coming.
- Frey, over on my side.
Right up behind me.
[Frey laughing]
[♪]
All right, no joking.
No joking when we cross
the street.
Hold on to my belt loops.
I can't see Sage!
Are you holding onto
my belt loop?
Hey, buddy.
What's shaking, buddy?
[♪]
This is for real.
This one counts.
- Can you just serve already?
- The score is 10-0.
- No. - No.
- What is it, 0-0?
- Shut up! Just play!
- Shoot it!
Shoot it!
- Aw, Swiss cheese.
Guys, that's pathetic.
- Sage: I'm serving.
- All right, this is gonna
be even more pathetic.
All right, I got it, I got it!
[screams]
What?
Oh, whoa, whoa, that's how
someone's gonna get hurt.
Hey, hey!
Give me the ball.
I feel like we're playing
in slow motion.
What is this,
the time-out corner?
All right.
I'll play by myself.
Whoa, he's back.
All right, now, that's what
happens when you've been a
bad boy.
You go to the time-out corner.
Is that what your mom does?
- Sage: Shut up.
- Frey: 55.
- Sage: You're not 55.
Yeah, you wish.
Show me! Show me.
20, 40...
- [zips bag]
- [whistling]
[whistling continues,
muffled voices]
[keys jangle]
- Lenny: Guys! Oh, my god!
Ah, now we have...
Oh, now we have revenge!
Now revenge of Lorenzo.
[children laughing]
[chuckling] Oh... Revenge!
- Stop it, dad.
- All right, guys, let go.
I can't, come on,
I can't get up.
Come on! Stop, guys, I'm not
kidding. I'm not kidding.
Guys, let go of me!
- Woman: Pile on! Pile on!
- Hey, hey, get 'em off me!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Get 'em off me!
- You're suffocating him!
You're suffocating him!
- All right, come on, guys,
seriously, get up, get up.
- Frey: He's holding us!
- That's not possible!
- Look, they're holding me.
They're holding me!
Come on, get up.
[overlapping speech]
All right, make them,
make 'em some breakfast.
Guys, go get breakfast.
Off. Off the bed!
Go! Go, buddy, go!
- Woman: Whole lot of nothing.
- Off you go. Sorry, buddy.
- Lenny, what is this
you're feeding the kids, huh?
- I don't know.
- Look, I brought some
other stuff.
And the guy at the supermarket, you know what he said?
- What?
- He said that one out of every
million boxes has a very...
Special... Prize in it.
Very special prize in it,
all right?
You guys want to empty it out?
You want to see what the pri...
You want to empty it?
Open it up. Open it up.
On the table.
- Sage: Shoot!
- Woman: [chuckles]
What have you got?
- A salamander! - Whoa.
- A salamander! Look at it!
- Lenny: Holy...
Let me see.
Oh, my god.
Let me see this.
That's incredible.
- It's alive!
- That is incredible.
Oh, my god. Seats, guys.
Here, sit down. Incredible.
Oh... Look at its head.
Look at it shaking.
- Woman: Wait, let me go find
something bigger... A little
home or something for it, Okay?
- Frey, whining: Can you put it in my hands?
I'll be safe with him.
- Lenny: All right, hang on a second, guys.
I think first thing we got to do is we got to get a home for it.
Check... This... Guy... Out!
- Woman: I'm getting a home.
- Oh, my god, look at its head shaking.
Look at that, you can see...
Look at that, you can see his
digestive system...
Or maybe that's just dirt.
I don't even know.
This is incredible, guys.
All right. Okay, check it,
Okay, check it out, guys.
What do we use for gravel?
We got this. [children laugh]
Actually, you know what?
- What?
- No, that's some of our food.
- Woman: Oh, my god,
what is he doing?
Okay, all right. Don't mess it-- don't make it too wet.
- Okay
- Don't make it too wet.
- All right, now...
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa!
All right, not on the floor.
Not... Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey! Stop.
If this thing gets in the walls,
I don't know what would happen.
- Woman: Here let me help,
let me help.
- All right, no, I got it.
Okay, stop, calm...
- Woman: Look, Lenny,
I got the lizard!
- Okay, this is not
a competition, all right?
We're all here to share the lizard.
- It smells!
- First thing we're gonna do...
- Stop hogging it!
- On the table. Hogging it?
- First of all, it's not yours!
- Silence! Silence!
Well, the one thing we can do
without removing it and freaking
it out-- because it now needs to
adjust to a new home, Okay?--
is name it.
- Can I show you something
in the bathroom?
- Those are my lucky charms!
- Woman: You guys, just be
gentle with him, Okay?
- Lenny: Give him a little kiss.
- Hey, Lenny!
[Lenny laughs]
He can almost swallow it.
All right, all right.
[child shrieks]
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
[door closes] - What?
- What was that in there?
- What was what?
- What was that? [slaps him]
- Hey!
- You just, like, slapped
my hand away like that.
- All right, the kids,
the kids are outside, Okay
- Okay, Okay - All right.
I don't even know what
you're talking about.
- Come here, spots.
- Or Bob. [muffled arguing]
- Hi, spots.
- No, "Bob's" too normal.
- Why don't you name him...
- I like "spots."
- Spots. Okay, spots.
[music on tv]
- I want commitment from
you two-- bedtime.
Shake on it.
All right, Okay Here we go.
We're gonna make you disappear.
All right, now, the magic words
are "presto magic."
All right, you guys ready?
- And make us come back.
- Well, first things first.
All right. One... Two...
Presto... Magic!
Oh, my god, this is incredible.
They're gone.
I'm going to the movies.
[music playing, chatter]
- Why don't you go, uh,
talk to her?
- [chuckles]
- I bet she likes smart guys.
Get her, get her, get her.
- Excuse me.
Excuse me.
- Louder.
- Excuse me!
I'm sorry. Um, hey, um...
I'd like to buy a drink for
the girl over by the chalkboard.
- Which girl are you
talking about?
- The one right there
at the end of the bar,
in the white.
Yeah, just a whiskey, what I have.
- All right.
- You made the right choice.
- Shut the fuck up.
[no voice]
- You got to look at her.
[♪]
Ooh... [chuckles]
[water dripping rapidly]
- What's shaking?
- How areyou?
- [chuckles] I'm fine.
I...
Um, all right.
I presume I should, uh,
I should split.
- Well, you can hang out for
a little bit, but I got to pack
my stuff and get ready, 'cause
I'm gonna go upstate today.
- Oh, far fucking out!
I fucking love it up there.
- I love upstate so much.
- Oh, goddamn it.
You know, I haven't been outside
the city, I think, in four years, you know?
- [laughs]
- All right, guys,
up and at 'em, up and at 'em.
Guess what, we're going
on vacation.
We're going on vacation!
Come on. Up, up, up, up, up, up!
We're going on vacation!
- Sage: It's the weekend!
- We're going on vacation!
We're going upstate.
- Open the can of nuts for me.
- All right, fantastic.
[can squeaks loudly]
That's hilarious.
Come on, we have 15 minutes
to get our stuff together.
We're going upstate!
- I don't want to go
on vacation!
- All right, come on.
Pack your bags, guys.
- I don't have any bags!
- Use your schoolbags.
Use your schoolbags.
Just dump 'em out.
We're going upstate, guys!
We're going upstate!
We got 15 minutes.
Up, up, up, up, up, up!
Come on.
Just pack your bags, man.
Dump 'em! Dump 'em!
- I'm dumping 'em.
I'm dumping 'em.
[children chattering]
- Do we need bathing suits?
- It was supposed to be
a nice ride up.
- It isgoing to be
a nice ride up.
- No, no, that's not,
that's not what I'm asking.
You're not listening.
- No, I was talking to--
- No, no, let me finish,
let me finish.
- Okay, you finish.
- The guy called you...
- Mm-hmm.
- And then you just decided,
that, oh, it would be a good
thing to do that I'm going
with my boyfriend out to the,
to the countryside but let me
tag along this guy.
What were you thinking?
- He was feeling kind of
overwhelmed by the city, so I
thought it would be a nice thing
to do if we brought...
- We were supposed to have
a nice weekend.
- We are gonna have a nice time.
- Yeah, sure.
- And while where having a good
time, we're gonna be doing
something nice for my friend.
- Well, my plans were having
a good time me and you, not the
three of us having a good time.
- We can still have a good time.
- [sighs]
- Lenny: All right, out.
- There he is. There he is.
- Oh, my god.
- Lenny: Hey! - Hi, Lenny.
- What's happening?
- How are you?
- Um, hey.
Um, all right, this is the
super of my building, and this
is his son peanut.
They've just been helping me
carry my bags.
All right, thanks, guys.
- Woman: Lookity, lookity.
- Introduce yourselves, guys.
- I'm Sage.
- I'm Roberta. Hello.
- That's Frey, and these guys
are so excited.
- [honking horn]
Come on. Come on.
- Lenny: Hey! Oh... Um...
- Roberta: That's aren.
- Hey, man, Lenny.
- Hey, Lenny, how are you?
- Thank you so much!
- Much welcome.
- God, they're so excited.
I'm in the middle.
- Aren: Hey, guys.
- Lenny: What's happening, man?
You mind if we throw
our stuff in the back?
- Aren: Yeah, sure, don't fuck up the rug though.
- What?
- No, nothing, nothing.
- Lenny: "by now I was
so frightened that I'll tell
you but I have to.
I screamed and rode away and
lost my hook and line
and bait too."
I thought this was
supposed to rhyme.
"you only could play
if your bellies have stars,
and the plain-belly children
had none upon thars..."
- Aren: Crazy? You're loco!
You're more than crazy.
Forget about crazy.
Don't even approach
the subject of crazy.
The guy comes in
with his kids...
- Lenny: Oh, wait, guys!
Check it out!
I got a traveling tape for us.
- Good.
[Lenny laughs]
- Roberta: Can we put it on?
- Lenny: I'm telling you...
- Guys! No music in the car,
please... Really, I get allergic
to music, I can't stand music
while I'm driving, I can't
concentrate on the road
and that's about it.
I have to concentrate
on the road.
- Lenny: You're allergic to music?
- Right.
- Lenny: Awesome.
...All right...
Who's the witness?
Sage, you see it? Okay?
Don't forget it.
All right, name that flavor.
- Blue raspberry.
- What?! You cheated!
You little runt.
- Sage: Yeah, you cheated.
- How would you know so fast?
All right, who wants to...
What do we got, thumb war?
Okay, one, two, three, four.
- Children: ♪ Oh, say, can you
♪ see, by the dawn's early light ♪
♪ We are proud to be...
- Lenny: You skipped the whole
middle part... Wait, no, you skipped like four lines.
Start over.
One, two, three, four.
- Children: ♪ Oh, say, can you see... ♪
- Guys, shut up for a second!
I'm sorry, man,
I shouldn't yell.
I'm sorry for that.
...Hey, hey!
Wake up. - Yeah?
- You have to drive, man,
I'm totally tired.
- Okay, you want to
just pull over?
Take a nap, man.
Pull over, we'll all take a nap.
- I'm not going to pull over,
we have to get there,
so you have to drive.
- Just pull over, man,
we'll all take a nap.
- Frey: What's happening?
- Shh... Just go back to sleep.
- Roberta: What are you doing?
[aren speaks indistinctly]
You want me to drive the car?
- Aren: No, he has to drive.
No, he has to drive.
Just pull him, he has to drive.
- Lenny: Aren?
Aren?
- Man ♪ [faint, indistinct]
[louder]: ♪ April rain
♪ Oh, darling, in my heart
♪ you always will remain
♪ When summer turns to fall
♪ As summer turns to fall...
[Lenny grunts]
- Sage: I want that one.
- Lenny: Okay, this one is giant.
[birds chirping]
[wood cracks]
- Roberta: You broke my stick.
- Aren: Come on, guys, we're leaving, come on.
- Roberta: No, I want this one.
- Aren: We've got to get to the boat.
Come on.
- Lenny: Hang on, I got ya.
Here, give me your hand.
- Aren: Come on, guys...
- Roberta: Come on.
- Aren: Come on... Firas!
Firas!
Firas, hi, man.
[both speaking Arabic]
Come on in,
let me introduce you.
- Roberta: Hello.
- Aren: That's a very good
friend, that's the guy who's
going to bring the boat.
- Roberta: That's Frey...
- Aren: Say hi...
Mr. Firas gonna...
[voices overlapping]
- Roberta: Come on...
You're not gonna go
water skiing?
- Lenny: It's 50 degrees outside...
- Roberta: It's hot,
the sun is out.
It's warm.
The summer's not over.
- Aren: Excellent. Beautiful.
- Lenny: I got him--
I got him, man.
- Roberta: Here, help them
in the boat.
- Lenny: Hey, hey, hey,
I got them.
- Aren: Okay, go ahead,
go ahead.
- Lenny: All right, life vests
on... Oh, great, good going,
grab it.
- Aren: Here, come on in.
- Lenny: All right, guys...
- Aren: Here I'll tell you...
Have a seat here... You have
always to sit on the boat,
don't stand up...
- All right, guys,
I'll pick you up in what,
two hours, Okay?
- All: No...!
- Roberta: I thought you were gonna come.
- Aren: Come in.
[boat engine idling]
- Frey: Ah, he's gonna water ski...
- Roberta: You good?
- Lenny: Guys, check him out.
- Roberta: Come on!
[engine accelerating]
Oh, he's up!
Whoo!
Faster! Go faster!
- Lenny: What do you guys
think?
- Roberta: Oh, you're going!
Look at what he's doing.
- Lenny: Hey, check it out,
guys... Sage, Sage.
- Roberta: Hi, baby!
- Lenny: Over here, over here.
I need some help.
All right, what do you want me
to catch for dinner tonight?
- Sage: Salmon.
- Salmon, all right.
All right... I learned this
in the army.
All right, anchor me!
I got one! I got one! I got one!
Oh... It got away, it got away.
Hang on, hang on.
We're still going for salmon?
All right, hold onto my waist.
All right... All right, guys,
lower me, lower me.
Ah! Ah! Pull me in!
Pull me in! I got it!
Ah, oh, it got away!
It got away!
Oh... [laughs]
[music playing]
[man singing in Spanish]
Holy shit...
Hey, firas! What is that?
- That's terry.
[man continues singing]
- Lenny: Far fucking out!
- ♪ Cuando calienta el sol
aqui en la playa
siento tu cuerpo vibrar
cerca de mi ... ♪
[film cans clattering]
[projector clicking,
woman singing indistinctly]
[no dialogue]
[children laughing
and yelling]
- Child: I got it!
[sounds of playing continue]
- Miranda...
- What do you want, Sage?
Eww... Gross.
- Other children: Eww...
- This is sticky and ugly.
- Man: Sorry, please get out
a piece of paper... Um...
Sit down please, fletcher.
Come on, guys..
Get out a piece of paper.
Let's do a morning mesSage.
Sit down, please-- uh, let's
start off with that one.
Let's get a subtraction
problem in there.
Very sorry, guys.
- All right, guys, the other
day, we were working on
this problem, and a lot of
you guys had some, some
difficulties with it when you
tried to tally it up.
It's 11 plus 8, Okay?
You guys ready for this?
What the heck?
[children laughing]
- It's on your back!
- Benny, Benny, come on.
Come on, do it.
Let's do it.
You got this.
You got it. - All right.
Write it right down there.
What's the answer?
You got it, you can do it.
Did you get it right?
Guys, did he get it right?
- Children: Yes...!
[children and teachers
playing]
- Come on, Tristan.
Yo, Sage, yo, Sage...
You want to spray miranda
with fart spray?
Smell it.
See what she'll smell like.
- Sage: Yuck...
- So are you with us or not?
- I mean, I'd love to,
but I don't wanna.
I got in a lot of
trouble already.
- Fine by me!
- I'll trail behind and see...
- Okay
- Tristan: It's gonna be the
laughing of a lifetime.
[children talking
indistinctly]
[spray, spray]
- Child: Eww!
[boys exclaiming]
- William, can I interest you
in some CDs?
- Sorry.
- No, no, no, they're only
five dollars apiece.
Yo, my friend,
you like bill withers?
You a reggae man?
Yo, reggae man.
Hey, Mr. Ice cream, yo!
Whoa, let me help you.
Let me help you.
Slow down, how you doing?
- I'm all right, I'm all right.
I don't have any money, man.
- Don't have money?
What do you mean, money?
- Hey, don't fucking touch me,
man-- I don't have any money,
all right?
- You like bill withers?
Come on, come on, you look like
a bill withers man.
Come over here.
How about this, jerry lewis?
Huh, hold on, come here.
- Are they for free? I told you
I don't have any money.
- You don't have any money?
How'd you buy that ice cream, huh?
- Here, take some bread.
- Take some bread?
Who the fuck do you think you're talking to, Jack?
- Whoa...
- Here, try this. - All right,
all right, game over, game over.
- Okay? Hey, that's cool.
Hurry up, man. - You want to
hold the fucking cones?
- Fucking kill... Yeah, I'll
take the fucking cones.
- [laughs] - Yeah, you think this is a fucking game?
You think this is a fucking game, man?
- No, I don't, I don't.
- Yeah? You want to see
those people you're buying those ice cream...?
- All right, here.
- Everything's cool, bro.
- Can't I just by some CDs?
- There's no CDs in there.
[cases clatter]
[traffic passing]
- [whimpering]
- Frey: I'll hold on to you, Sage.
[boys playing and yelling]
- Hey, guys!
Guys!
What's happening?
Sorry I'm late.
- Where's the ice cream?!
- Oh, hey! Hey!
Hey, you know what?
I had ice cream
and if you kick me like that,
you're not getting anything.
- Dad? - What?
- Can we have a play-date with Djoume?
- Oh, give me a break... Guys.
- You want to go to play?
- [laughs] Um...
It's not a good idea.
It's not a good idea today.
All right, listen, guys...
[kick, boys whining]
Listen to me, listen to me.
Calm down, all right?
It was a rotten day today, Okay?
We're going home, we're calming
down-- come with me.
...Yeah, but that's because
you're making me tense.
You know... All right.
[television playing]
Uh-huh... Uh-huh...
Yeah, but you know what?
I was in a great mood when I
dialed the phone, you know?
My intention was to call you
and share with you some very
pleasant news.
We went upstate, you know...
Yes, upstate-- does that sound
like I crossed state lines?
Look... You know what?
You're doing it right now.
You're doing it right now
and I don't know what you think
you're gonna achieve with this.
What, do you want me to just not
call you and give you updates?
You know, I wish I had a...
Right, I'm gonna start
tape-recording these
conversations, you know?
Because I'll rewind it, I'll
play it back to you, and that's
not how you said it... That's
not how you say it, you know?
Yeah, they can hear us right
now-- keep going.
Keep going, keep going.
Hey, kids, hey, guys,
say hi to your mom.
- Boys: Hi, mom.
- All right? They're looking
at me right now... Yeah.
No, that's you-- youare
perpetuating this.
You know what, you have
two choices right now,
you have two choices right now.
One is you continue acting the
way that you're acting and you
watch me blow my top...
Or two, I hang up on you.
All right? You got fi... One...
All right, good-bye, good-bye,
you made your choice, good-bye,
good-bye, good-bye, good-bye.
Fine... You see that, guys?
You see that?
That was awesome, huh?
[laughs] Now, I'm mad...!
Raar...! [boy yells]
C-runch-a... C-rack-a!
[intercom buzzing]
Oh... Hang on, guys.
[buzzer continues]
Hello?
- Man: Hey, Lenny, open!
[doorbell rings]
- Hey, what's shakin', Salvie?
- Hi, guys... How are you, lee?
Come on in-- you picked
a fantastic time.
- Boys: Salvie! Salvie!
- [heavy accent] Hi, kids--
how are you, guys?
- You guys remember salvie.
- Look what I have for you.
- ...He's got something.
[salvie chuckles]
- Lenny: This better be
flattering.
- I arrived there, no?
They were fighting, bloody.
- Who was fighting?
- My brother and his wife.
- Your brother lives
in Brooklyn?
- He lives in Brooklyn.
He was bloody, fighting with,
with his wife.
- Today? - Tonight.
- Your brother lives in
Brooklyn right now?
- Yes, yes. - I didn't know this.
- He is living there.
So anyway, I could not sit
there, and I went in that motel...
- Let me see what you got.
- And the, the...
- This is supposed to be me?
- The man at the motel was
completely blind.
- Boy: Here's some gum.
- Fantastic. [boy laughs]
- Everybody was blind
in the hotel there.
Do you understand?
- Which part?
I'm sorry... Salvie,
I'm trying to follow you.
- Oh, my god...
Let me eat these kids and let me
forget about this story.
- Boys: What?
- And you know, now your blood
will be sweet... And sweet...
Because I eat kids, you know?
And eat you... I will eat
all you... Ah...
Oh, my god, what...?
[boys laughing and yelling]
- Salvie...
- Frey: Salvie's a monster!
- Salvie: Oh, my god...
- Do you mind, lee,
if I eat one of them?
Oish...!
[kids and salvie yelling
in distance]
- Salvie: Oh, my god...
[yelling and laughter]
- Boy: Uh-huh...
- You stay like that.
Just lie down and I will walk
on you, but you keep your
stomach very strong. I be...
- No! Him first!
- I'll go first.
- I will begin with you now.
Are you able?
Tell me. Are you able?
- Yes. I think.
[grunting]
- No, stop! Stop, get off!
- Lenny: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, what
the fuck's going on over here?
Whoa, are you all right?
Is he Okay?
Are you kidding or not?
- Frey: He's not.
- All right, he's joking with me.
- He's not!
- Yeah, he's smiling.
- He's not!
He's stepping on us!
- Stepping on... How would you
like it if we stepped on you?
- Nothing happen, look.
- All right, you know what?
- You want to do that?
- Time for bed.
It's a school night.
- I am strong enough for that.
- All right, Frey, Sage,
enough games, enough candy.
It's bedtime...
It's bedtime, people.
- Sage: Pizza! - Quiet!
- Sage: Come and get it, you morons...
- Don't make me come over there-- I'm not kidding.
Get in bed.
[clatter]
Get back in bed.
- Sage: Fine.
- You know what?
I'm gonna take all that candy and I'm gonna flush it down
the toilet, how about that?
[boy whimpers] In bed, i...
[boy laughs]
- "I's very fond indeed of english school childers.
They has a nice inky, booky flavor.
Perhaps I will change my mind and go to England with them.'
'You is disgusting!',
said the B.F.G.
'and you is an insult to the
giant peoples!' shouted the
blood bottler."
- Man: Does anyone know
the capital of Oklahoma?
Uh, Frey?
- What was the question?
- [sighs]
Ben.
- Oklahoma city.
- Oklahoma city, well done.
Class, this is a perfect example
of what happens when you pay
attention and when you don't
pay attention, Okay?
Very well done, ben.
[clicking]
- Lenny: All right, rick...
Rick, you're all threaded up
and set to go, man.
You hit screen in 10 minutes, okay?
- I'm threaded up?
- I gotta split. - What do you
mean? No, no-- aren't you
working tonight?
- No. No, I am not working
tonight, you are working tonight.
- Oh, no, no.
- No, no what?
- You're on the schedule.
- No-- first of all, I'm
not on the schedule, second of
all, we agreed to this.
You are working tonight--
I have to pick up my kids.
- I just came in
to drop off the log.
- All right, all right, don't
fuck with me man, Okay?
I have to pick up my kids.
- I can't-- remember?
We had that conversation--
I have things to do...
- All right, all right.
Listen to me. - I can't stay...
- Listen to me-- I have no flexibility here.
- Neither do
I. - I'm already late.
- I can't help ya, I gotta go.
- Listen to me. - No, no, no.
- Please... - You're staying.
This is your night--
we talked about this.
- All right... - Next time.
- This movie's not gonna be
run-- all right.
- Gotta go.
[children and adults speaking
in background]
[traffic passing]
- Where you going?
[projector clicking]
- Paige: The kids are with
their dad this week and, you
know, I'm, I'm on vacation, I'm
supposed to have this time off.
- Puccio: Unfortunately my last
interaction with their dad wasn't very positive.
- Hello?!
- Paige: You're here! Finally!
- I apologize, unreservedly.
- You guys, I love you.
- Um, what are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
- Mr. Puccio had to call me because...
- You have no business being here.
- Listen, these are my kids.
What am I gonna do, just leave
them standing here waiting for you...?
- Okay, I apologize, something came up at work.
I apologize, Okay, but you know what? This is my time...
- You're not responsible enough to be here to pick them up.
- All right, the kids have been told in advance that if daddy
has an emergency, they're going
There's no danger in that.
- They cannot be standing here by themselves... The school is responsible...
- Yeah, well...
- And I am responsible and
obviously you don't think it's a big deal!
- Okay, you know, you're in charge of the school stuff.
- You're right, I am in charge.
- Listen to me...
- You obviously can't be trusted.
- It is your responsibility to make sure he has my number
when they're with me, so you should've informed them
that for these two weeks, they call me, okay?
- They have to call their mother.
- You know what? I'm not entertaining this discussion.
- Listen to me, I love you.
You got to go with daddy, Okay?
- Hello, hello? This is my screw-up.
I'm entitled to screw up in my
two weeks, and you can screw up for the rest of the year.
- I don't screw up, you screw up.
- Right, you don't screw up.
Okay, fantastic-- say good-bye to your mom, guys.
- No...!
- I'm sorry about this, guys... Lenny...
- Okay, I am right and you are wrong.
- You've always got a great excuse.
Boys, I love you. - Say
good-bye to your mother.
- I'll see you, Okay? Go. So sorry.
- That's Okay
- Come on... Say bye.
- Bye, mom. - All right, we
gotta seriously rush.
Sprint!
Whoo! Fantastic, guys.
All right, give me five.
...What you're looking for
is a little white circle.
It's gonna appear in the upper
right-hand corner, Okay?
And it's going to appear
for four frames long.
All right, film runs at 24
frames a second, I don't know
how long a human blink is,
but do not blink, I want you
focused intensely on that upper
right hand corner.
That is a secret signal
just for us, Okay?
All right, what are you
looking for?
- The white circle.
- And what are you gonna do
when you see it?
- I'm gonna flip the button.
- All right.
You looking?
Don't blink.
All right, go. - No.
- Go! Go! - No.
[switch clicks,
projector starts]
- Why doesn't the state
just... Put him away?
- Because it happened to be a colored policeman--
you know what that means.
[telephone rings]
- Projection.
All right, let's do it.
[projector clicking]
[piano playing in movie]
How you guys doing?
- Boy: Good.
Comfortable?
- No. - Yeah.
- All right.
You guys need anything,
I'm right in the booth.
[indistinct movie dialogue]
- Frey: Right on the line,
right on the arrow.
- On the arrow?
- Yeah...
- Let's do a test for starters, okay?
- Okay, one. - So, one.
[beeping]
[copier whirs]
- Both: Yes!
- Sage: "Based on a true story."
"Hey, Lenny, get me a cup of water!"
That's the boss, and that's dad.
"Okay, Okay..."
[imitates water whooshing]
Water...
And that's the boss's cup.
And then he's going into the
bathroom and peeing in the cup.
No description... Psss...
Penis... Psss...
Boss cup.
Gulp, gulp.
"this tastes salty!".
"ha, ha, ha... He, he, ha, ha."
- I can't believe he actually
peed in the water.
Okay, so now...
- Let's do a thousand.
- A thousand, yeah.
[beeping]
Maybe it's 999.
- 999... Okay, print.
[film running]
- All right, guys.
What'd I say?
Sage, jacket on.
[boys talking]
Shh... Shh...
We're going.
Put your jacket on-- I'm not
kidding, put your jacket on.
[wind blowing strongly]
Come on.
- Leni: Hey, guys!
- Boys: Hi, leni.
- Guys, come on.
- S'up, guys...
What's goin' on?
Ehh...
What's in the bags?
Oh, my god, Sage!
[boys laughing and yelling]
- Boy: Get 'em! Get 'em!
- Leni: "penis"?
- Hey! What is this?
What is this?!
- Leni: I give up.
[boys laughing]
- Lenny: Get over here!
Get over here!
- Jake... Jake, Jake, Jake,
Jake, Jake.
- Hey, man. - What's cooking?
Hey, you doing anything tonight?
- Uh, no, I was just, uh...
- All right, listen, I got a proposition for you, all right,
I'll give you free reign over my place, you know, use it as a
studio, get some work done, you watch my kids for a few hours,
eat anything you want, and in exchange... Here's that Kurtzman
you've been eyeing.
Come on... Do it.
- Yeah, definitely.
- Far out, man. - Definitely.
- Listen, listen, I'm gonna take a shower.
45 minutes, meet me at my place all right?
- Yeah, Okay-- 45.
...So, you guys wanna do, like, good guys, bad guys or, like,
every man for himself?
- Sage: Good guys, bad guys.
Some of these guys already died.
- Jake: How do I do it?
- This guy could be dead
or could be not.
- Jake: Look what happened to
this guy's face-- you guys
should paint these.
- Lenny: No M.S.G.
- Okay, one... Okay
You finished? Okay, you order
spring roll and coca-cola, no M.S.G., Okay?
- Yeah, I was kidding.
- Thank you.
[leni laughing]
- What's up?
- Nothing, I just, I haven't, I don't know... I haven't seen you for a little while.
You're funny, you're funny-looking to me.
You look unfamiliar.
Funny-looking.
Your hair got...
- What, more gray? - Yeah.
- Yeah, there's less of it.
- There's less of it and it's gray...
- Yeah, it's because Frey is
constantly yanking it out...
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Wow, that was fast.
- Leni: Thank you.
- Waiter: Okay - Jesus.
- Thank you. - Jesus...
That's incredible.
- Yeah, and your coke. Ice, no M.S.G.
- Thank you... Thanks.
- Okay, enjoy your meal.
- Leni: Thank you.
Oh, I had an idea.
How about all of us go upstate for a little while?
Why don't we just get out of the city for a little while?
Then it won't feel so hectic.
- Look, listen to me...
- It's not gonna be so chaotic up there, there's gonna be...
There's fall foliage, there's a lot of space for the kids to
run around, they can, like, do loops around the house.
- Listen to me.
Conceptually that is a wonderful
idea, but on every other level,
it's a horrible idea.
You understand that? You know?
I don't think you have any sense
of what it's like for me
right now, you know?
This is what it's like being
inside my brain right now.
- Okay, just...
Just, just be a little bit more
open, like, next time we're all hanging out, right...?
- Yeah.
- I just want you to, uh...
- What? - Just involve me
a little bit more, you know?
Just, like, just not even
involve me... - Okay, Okay
Okay... All right, I'm sorry.
...Oh, fuck! Come on.
- Come on... Don't...
[both laughing]
[train rumbling]
- Fuck it!
Forget it.
- Frey: I can't pee for such
a long time, you know.
[boys whispering]
[toy truck siren whoops, crash]
[toy siren continues]
- Oh, cool, a fire truck.
[clicking, whirring]
Is, is that pee?
- Boys: Yeah!
- Okay, Okay
[boys laughing]
- Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
- Okay... That's it.
- Frey! Help it!
It's under a bump, quickly!
We need to retreat!
- Leni: Hey! Oh!
- Okay, done, done, done, done.
- Truce, truce, truce.
- All right, done.
All right. - All right.
- Taxi!
- [laughs]
All right, well, let's walk the tracks.
- I have a better idea.
- What's that?
I'll take a nap on the third rail, how about that?
Will you watch my stuff?
- No, no, no,
I'm actually serious.
Let's walk the tracks.
- All right, I'm actually serious, too, I'm gonna take
a nap on the third rail right there.
- Yeah...
But that's gonna kill you.
This is, this is gonna be fun.
Come on, let's go.
- All right.
- After you.
- With all due respect...
That's a really stupid idea.
- I think it's a great idea.
- I still think you're joking, so...
- I think you're a stupid idea.
- Go, I'll see you at the next station.
- [blows kiss] Sayonara.
- Leni! - Yeah?
[gate creaks]
[indistinct P.A. Announcement]
[train clatters to a stop]
["door closing" bell sounds]
[leni sniffles, sighs]
- Lenny: Hey. [pats Jake]
Up and at 'em.
What's shaking, man?
How'd it go?
- Uh...
Fine, it was fine, uh, until, uh, I got peed on.
- That sucks.
If it's any consolation, my night was a complete bust, man.
I completely wasted the fucking Kurtzman.
- Yeah, whatever.
Uh, listen, uh, please, don't ask me to do this again.
- It wasn't a favor, man.
I paid you.
- [sighs] 'night.
[cushions thump on floor]
[key clicking in lock]
[horns honking in distance..]
- Lenny: Jesus.
- Hey.
- What the fuck
happened to you?
- You mad at me?
[telephone ringing]
- For crying out loud.
Fucking hell...
[quietly]: Hello?
Jeff, you woke me up, man.
What's going on?
No... No, I'm sorry, man.
That is not possible.
I've got my kids....
- Okay, I understand you have
two kids in the room,
but we have about a hundred
prints here that need to be
checked by tomorrow.
I'm sorry, I can't...
I can't even think straight.
I've got... You know Chris and
rick are working their asses off
right now, trying to get us
ready for tomorrow.
You know what, but that's not my
problem... It's yourproblem!
- Jeff? - It's not my problem.
- Jeff? - You know, it was my
problem earlier today-- I had to clean up a bunch of friggin'
comics that were strewn all over the theater, and I had to find
people to clean it up.
Well, you know what?
That was my problem, and you know what else is my problem is
when they run around this
friggin' booth like it's a friggin' playground.
- All right, all right, I'll,
I'll have my girlfriend watch 'em, all right, bye, good-bye.
Listen, listen.
Okay, I have to pull an all-nighter.
- Okay--
I can't watch the kids, though.
- Um, I don't think you understand-- I'm going to lose
my job, and I need somebody here
to watch them when they wake up, please.
- Okay, I would love to, and I can't, I just can't.
I've got to work in the morning.
I'm really, really sorry.
- All right, all right, fuck it.
- I would love to watch the kids.
- I'll be right back.
- Lenny? Where you going?
- [bangs loudly, rapidly]
Oh, god d... [knocks]
- Jake, muffled: Yeah...
- Jake, listen, um, I need you
to watch my kids for a few hours
tomorrow morning, man-- it's a real emergency, Okay?
- No way.
- Listen to me, Jake, please.
This is a dire situation, Okay?
I'm gonna lose my job.
- Sorry, no way.
- Oh, god... Is there any way
I can twist your arm, man?
[pill bottle rattles]
[pills rattle]
[whispers]: Come here, quick.
Come... Leni.
Goddamn it... Okay
Listen, here's what we're gonna do.
You see one of these? - Yeah.
- I take these when I want to sleep through the garbage trucks
in the morning and just get an extra three hours rest, okay?
So we divide this up. - Okay.
- Give the kids a third each,
right... There we go, we're good to go.
- I don't know if that's a good idea, they're just little kids,
I don't know.
- Listen to me, what's a worse
idea is if they wake up and nobody's here.
Do you understand that, Okay?
- Okay. - They're gonna freak
the fuck out. - Okay, Okay.
- This is a sedative.
- Just... [pill cracks]
- It's cool, just... - Okay
- Check it out, you see that?
- Yeah. - That's like an
eighth of a pill.
- Okay, I think that might be
a little bit too much in there.
- Okay
All right, come on.
Come on...
Shh... [boy whimpers softly]
All right, buddy.
Okay, shh, shh... Go back to
sleep, go back to sleep, shh...
Great.
All right, buddy... Shh...
- Lenny...
- Lenny: Shh...
All right, buddy.
[reels clank and clatter]
[sighs]
All right, guys.
Let's do it.
Come on, up.
Up!
I know you guys can hear me,
come on.
All right, one... Two... Aah!
Come on.
Come on, I'm serious.
C-runch-a!
C-rack-a!
Come on, guys.
Guys, come on... Come on!
[doorbell rings]
[door opens]
Stephen. Holy shit.
- Where are they? Where are they?
- Leni: They're right
over there.
They've just been out like this
for the past...
- Lenny: Listen, man, you know,
I take one of these pills when
I want to sleep for an extra two
hours, you know?
- Are you sure you only gave
them an eighth?
- Yeah, I chopp--
- Leni: It was a little bit
more than that. It was like...
- It was not more than that!
It was a pinch!
[air pumping]
I'm telling you, a whole one
knocks a full-grown man out
for two hours!
- Stephen: You got to back off.
- Leni: Here, that was it.
This was, this was the...
- Is it possible there's
something about the tap water?
I mixed it with tap water.
- No!
Just be quiet.
- Maybe the pills were expired?
Maybe, maybe they had expired.
- Shut up. Stop it.
[velcro unseals]
They're in what's called
stage four sleep.
- What is that?
- It's like practically a coma,
but lucky for you,
they'll wake up from it.
- That means they're good.
They're fine. - Yeah.
- They're gonna wake up.
- They're not fine.
You are so lucky.
- I'm all fucked up, man,
I don't know.
- I mean, honestly if I wasn't
your friend, I would've called
the police, you know?
I'm a doctor.
I'm not supposed to be like...
- Leni: So they don't need
to go to the hospital?
I mean, they're Okay Just here?
- No, they should be fine.
You should let them rest.
- I don't have to tell
their mother.
So they're gonna be fine,
they're gonna wake up...
- Well, I don't know when
you're talking to her.
It could be two days,
could be a week,
could be up to four weeks.
- [laughing] Holy shit!
- It's not funny!
- They don't need to go to the
hospital or anything like that--
- Lenny: That's what
I'm saying, so I don't need
to freak out, right?
- They should be fine.
- Is this, like, dangerous?
Is there gonna be residual effects?
- No, like I said,
they're fine.
I can't believe this.
- Leni: All right, well,
thanks for coming in like this.
- [scoffs] You're welcome.
I'm glad, I'm just glad
everything's Okay
- So, yeah, so we don't have
to freak out, right?
- No, you don't have to
freak out.
You just got to wait.
- I just, you know, I have so
much shit coming down at work,
I'm not thinking clearly, man,
you know?
I really appreciate this.
I just can't--
- I don't know what's
wrong with you.
- Okay, that's the third time
you said that.
- If you weren't my friend,
I would've called the police.
- All right, you know what?
You said that twice now.
- Leni: Hey, thank you for coming by.
- Lenny: Okay
[birds squawking, distant traffic, speech]
- Leni: You know that song.
And what else did she do?
Of rainbows and flower--
rainbows and... How does it go?
- Lesley gore...
So what, that was your apology to her?
- That was my apology.
I mean, I think that she...
She accepted it.
[quietly] Oh, fuck! Shh.
[muffled speech]
Shit, he's back.
- What?
- He's back. Hang on.
[keys jangling]
Fuck! He's back.
Shit.
- I'm more concerned with
the guy that's screaming in thisapartment.
Do you see him?
- [laughs] Come on.
Just pick up the bag.
- Okay No, no, no, no.
The bag has holes in it.
I can't-- I have to get him
in the jar.
- He's more afraid of you.
- Go in there. Fuck!
- Whoa.
Put him in the thing.
- Okay, good, good, good, good.
- [coughs]
Okay, I'm gonna throw this out.
- Okay, go!
[footsteps coming down stairs]
[footsteps going up stairs]
Oh, wait. You know what?
Before we get into this, why
don't you just call the kids?
- Please... Stephen made it
very clear...
- Just... - Listen to me.
- I'm not listening-- Okay
- He said a minimum of two days, right?
So I don't want to, like, that's why I'm here.
I don't want to rack my brain worrying about it hour by hour.
- I know, but then i, just so that I can get it off mymind
too, just give 'em a call and make sure that they're not
still, like, wandering around the apartment, like awake and
lost and...
- All right, all right.
[dialing phone]
Hey, guys!
It's me!
Um... [clicks tongue repeatedly]
There's no doubt in my mind
that you're asleep right now,
but on the off chance that you
woke up prematurely, here I am.
Pick up the phone.
If you hear my voice,
pick up the phone.
[horn honks]
[distant children's chatter]
[door locks,
distant man singing]
[door closes]
[traffic passing]
If you can hear me,
pick up the phone.
Come on, guys.
All right, I'm gonna count
to three, and I'm just gonna
assume that you are asleep.
One-one-thousand.
Pick up the phone.
Two-one-thousand.
All right, three-one-thousand.
All right, I'm not far, guys.
I'll keep checking in.
Love you. Bye.
[coin drops in phone]
- But you were buying
spray paint and that was
for work.
- That was for the...
Look, I can put it on the tab
and buy... You know, an overload
of an amount and then I can
kind of sneak in my own colors, you know?
- For?
- I go bombing.
- What does that mean?
- Bombing. Like graffiti.
You know, like that primitive...
- Oh, really?
Like, you write stuff
or you draw pictures?
- I write "Rambo" on Sundays.
- Rambo. You write that?
- I usually like to go
on Sundays 'cause--
- Are there less cops maybe?
- Yeah, well, they have
that T.N.T., like, Tuesday night
task force.
Tuesdays and Thursdays, there's
more cops on the street.
- Dale.
- Hey, what's up, man?
I didn't see you coming.
- Hey. Lenny. - That's Rambo.
- Hey, what's up, man?
- You mind if I join you guys?
All right.
- Dale: You hungry?
- Look, I don't want to
interrupt, you know?
I'm just totally listless,
you know?
I'm just trying to kill time.
You know, I don't want
to go home yet.
- He's gonna tell us a story.
He's a graffiti artist.
I don't know if I'm supposed
to say that or not.
- Lenny: For christ's sake.
- Dale: You can't even see it.
- Lenny: Come on,
it's fucking cold, man.
Cut it out.
For crying out loud,
let me have it.
- Dale: "no oil here."
I don't know what that means.
- [spray-painting]
- Rambo: Looks good though, Lenny.
- Dale: It's my name.
- Way to lay it on there thick, man.
- Don't put my last name on there. [laughter]
[police siren blares]
- Rambo: Lenny! Lenny! Run!
Lenny! Five-oh. Run, Lenny.
- Oh, fuck.
- N.Y.P.D. Let me see your hands.
Let me see your hands!
- Whoa, whoa, listen!
- Let me see your hands!
- I didn't do anything.
- Up against the wall.
Let me see your hands.
- Hey, hey, hey.
I'm not resisting.
- Let me see your hands.
- Am I resisting?
I didn't do anything.
- Stop moving.
- All right. First of all--
- I don't want to hear your
mouth! Stop moving!
- I'm not resisting.
- What do you have on you?
- Listen to me.
- What'd you have on you?
- Look, I was writing something--
- What did you have on you back there?
- Do I have anything on me?
All right. Aah!
I'm not resisting.
I'm not-- for the record,
I'm not resisting!
[buzz]
- Let's go.
[Lenny coughs]
Line up right over here by the window, back against the wall.
Back against the wall!
- Lenny: I'm trying to figure out what needs to happen before
we can get back out on the street.
- Rambo: Well, dad, we need to...
- Don't be a dick, all right?
- We'll definitely see a judge
probably within the next 24 hours, I'm assuming.
- So it's gonna be a while.
- Since it's the weekend
we're definitely gonna be in here a little longer.
- I don't want the fucking sandwich! Cut it out!
I don't want the fucking sandwich.
Leni, it's me.
This is a bona fide emergency,
so I don't know where you are,
I don't know why you're not
picking up your phone,
and that was my last quarter,
so I'm...
I'm kind of freaking out.
Uh, I need you to please go up
to 35th street and check on the
kids as soon as you get this.
I don't know, I have to see a
judge apparently, and that might
happen at nine in the morning,
it might happen at 11 in the
morning.
Good-bye.
Anybody have another quarter?
You kidding me?
- Call collect.
You want my sandwich?
- No, I'm good, man, thanks.
[dale clears throat]
[door unlocks]
- [lays down keys, coughs]
[sniffles] Hey, buddies.
[zipper unzips]
[♪]
[volume increases]
- Man: ♪ Ah... Ah...
Ah... Ah... ♪
♪ Ah... Ah...
Ah... Ah... ♪
[singing indistinctly]
[loud music continues]
- Dad, can you turn down
the music?
- Frey!
Oh, god!
Sage! You're awake!
Oh, my god!
Listen, listen.
Listen, listen, listen.
We overslept.
We're late for school.
We have five minutes.
We overslept. It's my fault.
It's my fault!
- Sage: This isn't
the right way.
- Right way where?
- To school.
- Guess what.
That's 'cause we're not
going to school.
- Where are we going?
- Come on, fuckers. Jump up.
Run!
- Sage: It seems too easy.
- Lenny: All right,
come on, go.
I won't catch you.
You know, you realize if you
go over...
- I'll race you down, Sage.
Ready, go.
[vibrating vocalizations]
- Lenny: Hey, hey, hey. Okay
Come on, guys.
- Sage: Come on, slowpoke.
[Lenny grunts]
- Frey: Daddy?
- What?
Get down.
- Aah!
[Lenny chuckles]
- Frey: Come on, dad!
- Frey, Frey, Frey, Frey,
come on.
Great, it's great.
It's fortifying.
You know. Stop. Stop.
Guys, come on.
I want you to appreciate
what you're seeing.
Isn't there something?
Give me one detail on each
window and then we can move on.
You each have to say one detail.
- Sage: Realistic clouds.
- Okay, realistic clouds.
That's one. You?
- Red flowers.
- Okay, red flowers.
That's good.
Okay, one detail out of each
window and then you're allowed
to move on to the next.
- Beautiful background.
That's... That's sort of
generic, but Okay, Okay,
it's passable.
- What does that mean?
- It means, you know, it's not
the most colorful description.
What's happening, guys?
- Frey: Is that real?
- Yep. You know, I killed one
just like this in the bathroom
the other day.
- Did it suck your blood?
- I used... Actually, it didn't
suck my blood, but I used
one of your old sweatshirts
to sop it up.
- Was there a lot of blood?
- Oh, yeah.
- That would suck all of your blood out.
- They're native to New York.
- Sage: Yeah, that would suck all your blood out.
- Are those alive? - What?
- Are those real?
- They breed in the sewers.
Nah, it's made out of wax,
I think.
No, they magnify it so you can see all the details.
That's incredible.
[knife blade unsheathes on tv]
[woman screams on tv]
[Sage growls]
- Lenny: Heads under.
- Daddy, you know that mosquito that you said, that you said
that you killed that we saw in the museum?
- I was kidding.
That was a joke.
Remember today you were making all sorts of jokes.
Remember in the museum you said that I looked like the monkey?
- No.
- Well, I was joking too.
- Yeah, but...
- Mosquitoes do not exist at that size.
They don't exist in this apartment at that size.
Only in the world of jokes are there mosquitoes that big.
- I don't believe you.
- All right, guys, come on, dunk your heads. Under.
- But was it slimy?
- Under, under, under.
- Was it slimy?
- Under. - No.
[Lenny grunts]
Ow!
- Come on, seriously, just dunk your head, please.
- Frey: I did.
- Please. I know you did.
Please. Take a page from your brother's book.
- Mom's name is Paige.
- That's right.
That's correct.
- No. - All right.
- No. - All right, Okay,
you don't leave me any choice.
[Sage laughs]
All right.
- Aah!
- Frey: Dad, every time I close my eyes, I see the mosquito,
and you said you would turn on
the lights, so can you please turn on the lights?
- It's just gonna make it harder to fall asleep.
- Can you please turn on the light? I don't care.
- Yeah, dad, can you turn on the light?
- All right, all right, all right.
- Sage: I don't want a big
mosquito sucking all the blood in my dreams... Or in real life.
- You realize, guys, that mosquitoes are drawn to light,
so if anything, this is just gonna make it scarier, and
harder for us to fall asleep.
- Good night, dad.
- 'Night, Dad, 'night, Sage.
- All right, good night, guys.
- Frey: When are we gonna
see you again?
- Soon, very soon.
- Five days?
- Well, not five days.
- I bet in a year.
- Less than a year.
- No.
Yes, I mean.
- Come on, guys.
- Yes, we'll see in you in less...
- Hi, Paige.
Sorry I'm late.
- Hey, there you are.
Listen. Hi, I love you guys.
I missed you.
Listen, I got movie tickets.
We got to go.
We got to go, we got to go.
- All right, guys,
go to your mom. Come on, run!
- Let me get a taxi.
- Come on, go to your mother.
I know you guys don't want
to go. Come on, run!
Guys, I'm serious. You're late.
Go. I know you...
- Here's a taxi, you guys!
- Seriously, no joke,
it's time.
They don't want to leave.
- Look, I got treats.
I got treats.
- I'm just joking with them.
- Listen, say good-bye to your dad.
- Bye, dad.
- Okay, bye, Lenny.
Just wave to your father.
- Hey, Frey... You know what?
That's what.
- Wave to your dad.
Okay, let's go.
- Frey: The bag!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Sorry.
All right, see you guys.
[record pops and crackles]
[combo plays blues]
- Dale: Hey, hey, hey.
What do we have?
Got some nice wood here.
- Come on, man.
- Look, you don't see this every day.
- Dale, come on.
- This is good-- I can do just about anything with this.
Help me take it to the car.
- It's junk. - No, it's good,
I can do anything with it.
- It's junk.
Check it... It's cheap wood.
You see that?
- Relax, man.
You're gonna ruin it.
- Ruin it?
It's a piece of shit!
[banging and panting]
- Relax, man!
- Leni, uh...
Uh...
I am not angry.
I am frustrated and...
[on speaker]: Very confused.
I would like to just hear from you.
If you would like me to stop
calling you, I would like to know that.
I, I keep saying, the kids are not here anymore.
I have, um, the free space, I have the mental space
to... I don't know, be more considerate? I don't know.
Please, just either call me to say hello or call me to tell me
to stop calling you. [click]
[ball thumping]
Fuck!
- Six-five.
[grunting]
[saxophone playing flat in apartment next door]
[grunting and squishing sounds]
[saxophone continues, mosquito sucking]
[glass shatters, Lenny gasps]
Hey! Hey!
What the fuck
are you doing, man!?
Hey!
[saxophone continues faintly]
Hey, quick, you hear that?
Frey, Frey?
Sage?
[mosquito grunting]
[Lenny grunting and yelling]
Sage? What's shakin'?
What's happening, kiddo?
Very good, very good.
Listen, listen, listen, listen,
um, will you put your mom on?
Will you put your mom on for me?
- Okay, here she is.
It's dad.
[piano playing]
- Lenny?
Well, you know, it's 6:00,
I'm making dinner-- what's up?
- Do this part again.
[hums music]
- Um, I've got Carmen coming
tomorrow... No, no, no, but
tomorrow is a half-day and I've
got plans to take the kids to
see my folks this weekend, Okay?
So it's not gonna happen.
It's a half-day, right, and I
paid Carmen in advance,
she's coming to get the kids
so it's not gonna work.
I... I understand that you miss
the kids, that's great,
but you know what?
Frankly, you're lucky
you even see the kids.
You are... Because I
hear the stories.
I mean, you know, i, I could
easily get full custody
with these kids.
The stories that I've heard
with all your weirdo friends.
These are little kids.
It's completely inappropriate
what you do with them.
I know you're the father,
but you know what?
You're not a great father all
the time, and you certainly were
not that great when you had them
for the last two weeks.
It's not gonna happen.
My food is getting burnt
and overdone here,
I've gotta go, Okay?
I'll see you.
No, good-bye.
Have you done anything?
No-- you haven't done anything.
This is homework that's due
tomorrow-- you see?
It's double-sided-- do it, Okay?
All right, Frey, we're gonna eat
in five minutes, all right?
So just hang in there.
[children and adults talking]
- Frey!
Frey!
Carmen!
Como estas?
- How you doing?
Como esta usted ?
- Cuanto tiempo!
- Mucho tiempo.
- Hey, how you doin', buddy?
Surprise!
Hay una problemo.
- Si, que paso?
- Uh... Paige made a big
mistake-- change of plans.
I am taking the boys,
I'm gonna give 'em a nice, like,
home-cooked meal today,
I'm gonna return them.
- I'm worried because...
- No, no, no, don't be worried.
She gave me the money.
She said it was just a mistake.
Please... - You know I'm very
responsible for them.
- How you doin', buddy?
Where's your brother?
- Be good with daddy.
- Nice to see you, Carmen.
Say bye to Carmen.
[boy humming]
Lenny: Oh, all right, guys.
Check it out.
All right, we're almost ready
for the chicken, guys.
All right?
[coughs]
I made a list.
Where is it?
We need some groceries.
Sage, come over here.
Sage, you're in charge.
- What are we having
for dinner?
- We're having, uh, Lenny surprise.
- Oh, god.
- Chicken lennini!
Listen to me.
This is a grocery list.
Read it back to me.
- Milk, cream, orange juice,
apple juice, peppercorn, salt...
- I don't want you going to the
Korean place on the corner, all
right? It's a rip-off.
- Where else?
- You're gonna leave the apartment, you're going to
make a left, then you're gonna make a right-- this is how we
save money-- then you're gonna make a right.
You're gonna go down to 29th street, to the big supermarket,
all right?
This is $55.
- Frey: I'll take it.
- Sage: I got it.
- You're in charge of the
money, you're in charge of
picking out the items.
Teamwork, guys.
All right, get up... Okay, go.
29th street and third avenue.
- Bye, dad. - Bye...
- Bye, dad.
- Sage: Frey, Frey!
Frey...
[grunts]
- Look, fruit snacks.
They're my favorite.
They have real fruit in them.
- Whatever...
Toss 'em in, I guess.
- Rosemary.
Crushed rosemary?
- Crushed or leaves?
- Leaves.
- Why leaves ?
- It looks nicer.
[register beeping,
indistinct conversations]
[boys grunting and groaning]
- Lenny: Hey!
- Frey: Hi, dad!
- Hey, quick!
Ooh, catch it!
Come on, guys.
Come on in.
Guys, come on in.
- What's happening?
- Listen to me, Okay?
Listen to me, very carefully,
all right?
This is a surprise, Okay?
We are moving-- we have
10 minutes to bring everything
down to 36th street.
- What do you mean we're moving!?
- Just what I said.
We are moving to a much bigger apartment. [boys yelling]
- Listen to me, listen to me!
We have 10 minutes to go downstairs to a truck that is
going to move us to a bigger apartment, okay?
- Frey: I like this apartment!
- You are embarrassing me in front of mark, Okay?
You are embarrassing yourselves in front of mark, Okay?
- Boy: I can't hear you.
- Lenny, this is a, this is a really weird situation.
- What?
- I gotta get out of here.
Hey, guys, it's good to see you again.
- Mark, listen to me...
- I knew you when you were this
big and you when you were just pretty much a thought.
- Mark.
- Look... - 10 minutes,
10 more minutes. - No, I'm
done...I'm gone, man.
Listen, we'll catch up the next time your dad's not moving.
- Mark, Mark. - I'm gonna go.
- Mark, do not do this to me.
Please do not do this to me.
Do not do this to me!
10 more minutes! - You really
wanna take your hand off.
- Mark. - No more.
- You've been a saint.
- Yeah, well... Later.
[door slams]
- All right guys, change of plans.
Change of plans.
We are down to three.
I seriously need your cooperation.
We have to work as a team.
- No! - Pick up a box,
hold a box... Hold a box.
Hold this box, all right?
[grunting]
All right, guys, I got all
your toys in here, Okay?
We're only taking the essentials
now and guess what I considered
an essential?
All right, the games.
[grunting]
Oh, my god...
Okay, give me a box.
Give me... Give me a box!
...What do you look so happy
for? I see you smiling.
I see you smiling! Come on....
[truck engine revs]
All right, guys.
Hey, hey, hey.
All right, thanks, man.
- What's with the fridge?
- I told you-- I'm moving
everything, man.
- But what's with the fridge?
You just told me you, a couple
boxes and that was it.
- Just open the back for me,
all right?
All right, guys, up and at 'em.
...And we're off.
Will you please hold on?
Thank you.
[truck rumbling]
This is pretty awesome, huh?
[rumbling and clattering]
[bump, clattering]
Whoa... Hey...
Watch it! Hey!
Hold on... Will you hold on
to the thing?
[bump, clatter, boy yells]
Hey, watch... Listen to me...
Jesus christ... Hold on.
I said hold on.
- Frey: I'm holding on!
- Will you watch your driving,
man? I'm not kidding!
[tires squeal]
- Listen, that's it.
You or anybody does not tell me how to drive.
- Oh, come on, man...
- That's it, that's it.
- For cryin' out loud...
- Get your stuff out. - Listen to me, I apologize.
- Out, out... I got nothing to say.
- This is not a personal thing.
- I don't have anything to
say-- get your stuff out. George...
- The kids were bouncing all over the place.
- Help me to get these things out.
- Oh, give me a fuckin' break!
- Let's go.
- Lenny: You all right?
You all right? Ooh...
You all right?
Too heavy?
...Come on!
[grunts] Come on, guys!
Here, three, please.
- Sage: Frey, help!
- Lenny: Just keep it.
Could you hit the service door for me?
Thank you.
[grunting]
- Frey: I'm not going.
- Help... Help!
- I'm not going there.
- Okay... Sage!
- [panting]
- That's fine.
Here, this way.
Forget it, just forget it,
come on.
- Sage: I want the other boxes.
- This way, come on, this way.
Put the boxes in.
[♪]
Frey, I need you to cooperate
right now.
This is all gonna be over
in five minutes, Okay?
Come on... - No!
- Come on, I'm not kidding.
- Get off! - Goddamn it.
- Get off! - All right, we're ready to go.
- Get off!
Get off...
- Lenny: Stop it.
Stop it.
I'm not kidding.
Stop it... - Get off...
- Listen to me...
- Man on P.A.: Good afternoon.
If you are standing,
hold on, please, while the cab is in motion.
[beeping]
[♪]
[music plays through credits]
[music ends]